


Nightmares

by dwj



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27091624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwj/pseuds/dwj
Summary: Written for Whumptober day 18, prompt: Panic Attacks. post 1x06 Dalek
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27
Collections: Whumptober





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! so here we are, ive actually had thoughts about this episode for a very long time and I guess whumptober gave me an excuse to finally explore it. ive always had issues with this episode and how they skated over the fact that rose essentially caused the death of hundreds of people and then skipped off back into the tardis with the doctor and her new 'not boyfriend'. lbr, there are m a n y episodes with issues but for some reason this one has bothered me in particular all these years and now here we are.
> 
> I've never tried to write a panic attack before now and was it not for this prompt then I probably never would have. im not entirely sure how I feel about it but I do feel like its more likely than rose just brushing off the whole ordeal and pretending like it never happened.
> 
> feedback is as always greatly appreciated. thanks!

**_#18 Panic Attacks - Doctor Who - Nine/Rose_ **

Faces. So many faces. Some she recognised, others were blurred and she couldn't quite make out their features but the one thing they all had in common, they were all screaming. Their screams pierced her ears and ran her blood cold. Screams full of pain and fear and it was all because of her. Their deaths were caused by her own stupidity, hundreds of lives lost because of some dumb kid who thought she knew better.

The screams got louder and Rose started to feel as though she was drowning in the terror. Her own cries of apology were drowned out by their screams, she hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt let alone killed, hadn't known what the creature what capable of.

She instinctually took a step back, she didn't want to run, not when this was all her doing but she was so scared. They began reaching for her, with each step she made backwards they inched closer. Her tone was frantic and borderline unreadable through her sobs, she begged them to let her go, pleaded for forgiveness as she continued to shy away from the hands reaching out for her.

Suddenly one of them grabbed her, hands gripped her upper arms and prevented her from moving back any further. She was out of options, struggling against a grip that only seemed to get tighter the more she fought back. It was her own frantic scream that finally dragged her out of the seemingly never ending nightmare.

Something, or someone still had it's/their hold on her however, she squeezed her eyes shut as she continued to fight against their grip afraid of what she might see should be open them.

A voice called out to her but it barely registered in her frantic mind, she was struggling to catch her breath even though her heart felt as though it might beat right out of her chest at any moment and it was then that she finally stopped fighting against her capture. She had nothing left in her, between deep gulps of breath that couldn't seem to reach her lungs and whispered begging the grip on her arms loosened and then disappeared altogether.

Hands cupped her cheeks then and she could feel their breath as whomever it was continued to talk to her, trying to coax her out of the living nightmare she found herself trapped in. The images slowly dissipated from the forefront of her mind, replaced with a thudding pain as she tried fruitlessly to take a full breath.

Her own hands covered those still cupping her face, she had come back to herself enough to realise that whoever had her was at least for the moment trying to help her as opposed to causing further harm and her quiet pleas for help turned to them.

She was able match her breathing with theirs and after what felt like a lifetime she was finally able to take in a deep breath. It was akin to breaking the surface after being trapped under water and relief washed over her.

Opening her eyes, The Doctor's ever unreadable gaze bore into her and she felt the rise of fresh tears. Wordlessly he shifted and manoeuvred them until she was tucked against his chest, his arms tightly around her, grounding her, assuring her that she was safe.

"It's all my fault, all those innocent people."

The guilt was overwhelming, a sob escaped her and she turned her face to muffle her cries against his jumper. A flicker of her nightmare flashed through her mind and she shook her head frantically to try and rid herself of the image, she feared their faces would haunt her forever and had to swallow the rising panic lest she fall back into the trap he'd found her in before he woke her.

"I'm so sorry Rose."

His voice cracked as he spoke, this was all on him, the soldiers deaths, Rose's torment, it was all because of him. She hadn't known any better, he hadn't given her reason to.

She was just a kid, a kid who thought she was helping, thought she was saving a life. Now her hands were bloodied with the lives of hundreds, of which she would have never even met had it not been for him taking her there in the first place. He always had to show off, couldn't help himself, it was easy for him to lose himself in the excitement and the danger but this time he had dragged Rose down with him. At what cost?


End file.
